Zen Monsters and Zen Masters

Recently I have been thinking about my steps on an (or is it "the") spiritual path. This has been helped along by reading the book Zen Confidential: Confessions of a wayward monk by Shozan Jack Haubner. I have felt a certain kinship with its content, particularly in referring to oneself as more of a "Zen Monster" than Zen Master.

I have always had a strong interest in the viscera of spiritual practice and some pieces of wisdom I have on standby seem to reflect this -

Smile while you still have teeth

And something I was only able to articulate (somewhat) artfully in full only recently -

Don't like how you appear to the world?

Then change it by changing what it depends on:

Only after stripping away the layers of flesh can we start to polish bone

This fascination with the darkness and how it comes into play in everyday life looks to have served me well - it seems to make me different to the rank and file yogurt fanciers that appear too uptight to even pass wind. Everyone needs to pass wind from time to time. It is one of His Holiness the Dalai Lama's go-to topics to bring people at ease and prove that he is as human as the rest of us - or like the rest of us: just happening to be in human form for the moment.

People, even in spiritual traditions seem soo intent on proving themselves that they get in the way of any good they are able to do. There is no shame in practicing a skill until you master it, no matter how simple. Perhaps this is why most courses in meditation and mindful thinking start with the breath, something no one has really thought about until they must and even then it is still a thing that may be trained and practiced.

People who think of themselves as great often have to tell themselves that story. If the story stops, they stop believing they have to fight off rising feeling of them being terrible. They suddenly have to face who they really are: someone capable of nasty things and someone who has to live with what they have already done. 

That makes it hard for them to look at their own life and find the lessons they can learn from those situations.

Only beings of pure light aren't afraid of the darkness - and that's because they take their own light with them. It looks like the rest of us still have some dark lessons to learn ...

Click to see more of this comic, and more from Zen Pencils

Only

Yesterday I attended an anti-Reclaim Australia rally. Reclaim Australia are the local group of xenophobes that are currently attacking refugees and the religion of Islam. Reclaim Australia are (generally) a bunch of hateful people that will attach themselves to the most recent ideas in the news to spread their philosophy of hate, mistrust and “othering” all who are not like them. Little Daleks in human bodies … I think you get the picture.

These people need to be shown that they are wrong and that spreading hate is a nasty and venomous thing to do.

I stood with the people opposing them - I still do from a philosophical standpoint.

We stood and chanted. Firstly words we all agreed with. Then words I agreed with less and less. I just skipped the chanting of the sections I did not agree with and found myself soon silent, not to mention the idea of my usual spiritual practice involving chanting - and watched as it was morphed into something nastier.

The opposition moved to where the Daleks stood. There were many police standing between and on horses, separating the two groups. I could not see anyone to oppose. But just angry people shouting at the unseen threat and calm police.

The police cordon was tight - I asked some officers at the fringes if they knew any details of what was going on, the numbers on both sides, the mood, the intention - the admitted that they didn’t know. If I wanted to know what I was doing that morning, they advised that I watch that evening's news.

If I was there to make a difference, to effect change, to educate or even show a solid resistance - then I couldn’t. There was no place there for that.

I also found it fascinating that both sides had placards with swastikas, bombs and (occasionally) barbed fences on them - to help them express the unreasonableness of the other side.

I consider myself Buddhist and flirt with the ideas of Amitabha Buddha - who is often represented by a swastika. Both sides of this argument were using a symbol I cannot associate with without at least having to explain myself to represent their oppression. One side was openly fighting for a stop to Islamophobia and the other were fighting for “good Christian values”. They were using a symbol that I cannot use in my religious devotion, even though it came from there, as a slight between sides fighting over religious freedom.

The nearest temple for my version of Zen (Soto) - is not that widely known about and has a very small online presence - it is also a mere 700+ km away. If I went to Soto’s place of founding and head temple, I would be quite disadvantaged by not being able to speak fluent Japanese, and knowing some ancient Chinese would be valuable too. This is why it seems a bit rich for me to hear about religious intolerance from both the Pro and Anti Reclaim Australia people.

I felt disenchanted by this - and left.

In the heat of that moment, where emotions were running high and where in the past occasionally physical violence occurs I took a photograph and wrote something on my personal facebook page.

I didn’t share it with the organisers on either side intentionally - as it was me, personally, blowing off a little steam and questioning why it has to be like this.

Big mistake.

While no direct, actionable threats were made either publicly or privately, the air of animosity was great - but I refuse to be drawn into personal attacks in retaliation or attacks of myself and my character. That being said, at the time of this writing, the public ones are still public - I don’t want to delude myself about my actions or my past.

But I am not proud of all the defences I made - and I am sorry if I harmed anyone during this.

What I learnt was:

• Non-violence and non-engagement are some very powerful tools but are very difficult to wield effectively.
• Non-violence and non-engagement may often be mistaken for apathy or ignorance.
• Engaging with those that could learn to use non-violence and non-engagement - defeats the purpose.
• I should think more before I speak or type.
• The questioning of certain views, such as what your are doing and why, is not welcome everywhere.

I have dealt with bigger fires in my life, that have burnt and harmed me more than this did - I am glad I received some of this undercurrent of vitriol, as I could take it, but I now know some of what those that question the ideas of those around them can receive. I have seen what turns them into angry violent people while I was able to withstand it. I can start to understand how their frustrations can build and finally explode in acts that end up shocking entire nations and I personally choose against following those dark paths.

I also believe much more firmly that if I see someone who needs help, that I will try to help them - regardless of political belief, religion, class, caste, sex, gender, sexuality and whatever else I may have missed out in this short list.

When people share things they cannot choose how others react to it - by the same token, those that receive cannot question what is displayed.