Bodhidharma Speaks ...

Text no 3: First Letter

From the Bodhidharma Anthology, this text is popularly attributed to Bodhidharma but is technically by an anonymous author.

I have always admired the former wise ones. I have broadly cultivated all the practices. I have always esteemed the Pure Lands of the Buddhas and looked up to the teachings that have come down to us as a thirsty man longs for water. Those who have been able to meet Sakyamuni Buddha and realize the great path are in the millions; those who have obtained the four fruits are numberless. I really thought that the heavenly mansions were another country and the hells another place, that is one were to attain the path and get the fruit, one’s bodily form would change. I unrolled sutra scrolls to seek blessings; through pure practice I [tried to produce karmic] causes. In confusion I went around in circles, chasing my mind and creating karma; this I passed many years without the leisure to take a rest. Then for the first time I dwelled upright in dark quiescence and settles external objects in the kingdom of mind. However, I had been cultivating false thought for such a long time that my feelings led me to continue to see characteristics. I came to the point where I wanted to probe the difficulties inherent in these illusionary transformations. In the end I clearly apprehended the Dharma Nature and engaged in a course practice of Thusness. For the first time I realized that within the square inch of my own mind there is nothing that does not exist. The bright pearl comprehends clearly and darkly penetrated the deep tendency of things. From the Buddhas above to the wriggling insects below there is nothing that is not another name for false thought. There are calculations of thought. And so I have given written expression to my dark musings. Moreover, I will reveal the Verses on Devices for Entering the Path [Ju-tao fang-pien chi], to be used as an admonition to those who have the conditions for the same type of awakening. If you have time, unroll and read it:

Through cross-legged sitting dhyana, in the end you will necessarily see the Original Nature.

Inevitability you will fuse and purify mind.

If for a split second [thought] arises, [you will be in the conditioned realm of] arising and extinguishing.

In the midst [of birth and death], to remember thoughts is [like a Buddhist aspirant] engaging in an improper means of livelihood.

You may search for Dharma and surmise various things, but your karma will not be changed.

Given revolving and increasing defilement, mind finds it difficult to reach the ultimate.

The wise one, upon suddenly hearing the eight characters, awakens to the principle.

He realizes for the first time that his six years of ascetic activity were in vain.

All over the world, everywhere, are people of the Evil One

Who clamor in vain and engage in meaningless arguments.

Making false explanations, they teach sentient beings.

Talking about remedies, they cure not one disease.

Things have always been in a state of quiescence and there has never existed a perceiving subject.

How could there be good and evil, false and correct?

Even arising is no-arising; even extinguishing is no-extinguishing.

Moving is no-moving; concentration is no-concentration.

Text no 4: Second Letter

From the Bodhidharma Anthology, this text is popularly attributed to Bodhidharma but is technically by an anonymous author.

Shadows arise from bodily forms; echoes follow upon voices. Some play with their shadows to the point of tiring their bodies, not realizing that their bodies are the shadows. Some raise their voices to stop the echoes, not realizing that the voice is the source of the echo. Searching for nirvana by eliminating the defilements is like searching for the shadow by getting rid of the body. Seeking for Buddhahood by rejecting sentient beings is like seeking for the echo by silencing the voice. Therefore, we know that delusion and awakening are one road, that stupidity and wisdom are not different. In a place of namelessness they mistakenly think of erecting names, and because of these names, is and is-not are born. In a place without principles they mistakenly think of creating principles, and because of these principles, disputations flourish therein. Illusionary transformations are not real, so who is right and who is wrong? Falsity is unreal, so what exists and what does not exist? One should know that obtaining is having nothing to obtain and losing is having nothing to lose. Having not yet been able to talk with you, I have composed these lines, but how can one discuss the dark purport?

The above is from a book of early Zen records - and supposedly written by the near mythical Bodhidharma himself.

I typed out the text myself to help me understand it and make it a part of my everyday life. I found the above to be the most moving in the book. I am still in awe at how much strength, clarity and humanising honesty the author was able to use in such short pieces of text.

While typing out the above on a warm day, I felt the spiritual and physical longing of the thirsty for cool water and I mindfully sipped in between typing. I am also hearted to know that even in some of the pitfalls of the Buddhist path that I am not alone.

Thank you to all those who struggled and suffered while helping me along my way so I may sit here out of the harsh sun, with water to cool my belly and time to enjoy such sentimental text. I hope I do not dally when I am able to help others along their various paths.

The Heart Sutra: Remix

Click to jump to the Heart Sutra Remix

The Heart Sutra is a fundamental teaching from the Mahayana branch of Buddhist doctrine, as this branch then sprouted more branches itself (such and Chan/Zen, Pure Land and Vajrayana to name a few) most lineages have their preferred version or an opinion on the Heart Sutra.
[If you are reading this and are a mostly in the Theravada lineages, I would be interested in hearing a Theravadin perspective on this teaching.]

I have even posted before about the Heart Sutra although that time was mostly as a reference version in the early days of the internet.

There are many versions available these days - an interesting collection can be found at dharmanet.org. Many things come to mind when presented with soo many versions of a key text:

• Most are translated by a group of people, usually due to the specialist knowledge required to authentically translate some of the more thoughtful or idea-dense words.
• Sometimes the translators are just linguists that have no intrinsic "feel" for the scriptures being translated.
• None come close to a "Conversational English" version (some of the Zen translations get surprisingly close) and all end up sounding like they are ancient texts translated via specialist terms that were only discovered and shared by religious missionaries, both Buddhist and Christian - and few missionaries have such perfect language skills to base such important translations on.
• The dharmanet.org version by "the Reverend Xuan-Zang" is by Tripitaka from Monkey/Journey to the West fame. "Xuan-Zang" was his Chinese name and upon his return to China, he was famous for his teaching on this scripture - in fact in the classical Chinese novel Journey to the West based on his adventure has the full text of the Heart Sutra in it out of respect to him.

Christian scholars have had very similar problems with the Bible; constantly battling to make it "sound right" but still make sense. This had lead to some "Remix" Bibles - such as the Message translation - Bibles in a conversational tone that can be used to get the idea of what is being said without being bogged down in some very linguistic matters.

Here is a similar version of the Heart Sutra I managed to compose, keep in mind I only speak English and that this may be revised or reposted to keep it up to date.

The Heart Sutra Remix

By the author of this blog

The great compassionate one, while wading through coursing thoughts of glowing light realized that the five parts that make a human were hollow.

Talking to Shariputra, the great compassionate one said:
“Do you realize that the five things that make a person aren’t real?
Physical things are hollow, and hollow things are physical - As one takes up space and the other is the space between what is there.
That’s because, the physical and the non-physical define each other!
The same is true with people’s feelings, what they see of the world, how they think the world works and how they think of themselves!
It doesn’t mean a thing! - except to the person who is feeling, perceiving, thinking of the world and themselves.

So all truths are just as hollow!

There are no building blocks to make a person out of!
There is no birth and no death!
No purity or impurity!
No increasing or decreasing!

So, Shariputra, in this hollow, empty space of a place there is:
No physical forms,
No feelings,
No perceptions,
No ideas,
No self-consciousness!

No eye, no ear, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind, no appearance, no sound, no smell, no taste, nothing other than my mind to think of, nothing for an eye to see, nothing outside for your mind to notice, no other place of truths to discover and no identity or self to be conscious of!

There is no ignorance, no end to ignorance - up to no old age and death AND no end of old age and death!

In short:
No Suffering!

Nothing to get caught up in and suffer over and so, no end to suffering!

There is no “path”, no “wisdom”, nothing to “get” - and nothing you don’t already have!

Because - people like me Shariputra, have nothing to “get” they sit around in these clear, coursing and glowing thoughts all the time.

Since there is nothing for my mind to hide behind - there is no fear of anything.
Since there is nothing left that can be false - I only see the truth around me.

All those perfect people out there, know this and do this as well.

So, the idea behind all this - the key thing is:
“Go, go! Go beyond! Keep on going and go completely beyond! Wake up and see the light!!”

The Heart Sutra

Translation by the Nalanda Translation Committee

Thus have I heard. Once the Blessed One was dwelling in Rajagriha at Vulture Peak mountain, together with a great gathering of the sangha of monks and a great gathering of the sangha of bodhisattvas. At that time the Blessed One entered the samadhi that expresses the dharma called "profound illumination," and at the same time noble Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva mahasattva, while practicing the profound prajnaparamita, saw in this way: he saw the five skandhas to be empty of nature.

Then, through the power of the Buddha, venerable Shariputra said to noble Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva mahasattva, "How should a son or daughter of noble family train, who wishes to practice the profound prajnaparamita?"

Addressed in this way, noble Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva mahasattva, said to venerable Shariputra, "O Shariputra, a son or daughter of noble family who wishes to practice the profound prajnaparamita should see in this way: seeing the five skandhas to be empty of nature. Form is emptiness; emptiness also is form. Emptiness is no other than form; form is no other than emptiness. In the same way, feeling, perception, formation, and consciousness are emptiness. Thus, Shariputra, all dharmas are emptiness. There are no characteristics. There is no birth and no cessation. There is no impurity and no purity. There is no decrease and no increase. Therefore, Shariputra, in emptiness, there is no form, no feeling, no perception, no formation, no consciousness; no eye, no ear, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind; no appearance, no sound, no smell, no taste, no touch, no dharmas, no eye dhatu up to no mind dhatu, no dhatu of dharmas, no mind consciousness dhatu; no ignorance, no end of ignorance up to no old age and death, no end of old age and death; no suffering, no origin of suffering, no cessation of suffering, no path, no wisdom, no attainment, and no non-attainment. Therefore, Shariputra, since the bodhisattvas have no attainment, they abide by means of prajnaparamita.

Since there is no obscuration of mind, there is no fear. They transcend falsity and attain complete nirvana. All the buddhas of the three times, by means of prajnaparamita, fully awaken to unsurpassable, true, complete enlightenment. Therefore, the great mantra of prajnaparamita, the mantra of great insight, the unsurpassed mantra, the unequaled mantra, the mantra that calms all suffering, should be known as truth, since there is no deception. The prajnaparamita mantra is said in this way:

OM GATE GATE PARAGATE PARASAMGATE BODHI SVAHA

Thus, Shariputra, the bodhisattva mahasattva should train in the profound prajnaparamita.

Then the Blessed One arose from that samadhi and praised noble Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva mahasattva, saying, "Good, good, O son of noble family; thus it is, O son of noble family, thus it is. One should practice the profound prajnaparamita just as you have taught and all the tathagatas will rejoice."
When the Blessed One had said this, venerable Shariputra and noble Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva mahasattva, that whole assembly and the world with its gods, humans, asuras, and gandharvas rejoiced and praised the words of the Blessed One.

Quick Links + Updates - Week ending 11/12/2015

This week:

I have been busy with my first attempt to celebrate Rohatsu. I have previously forgotten to check when it is, only to end up missing it - this year I noticed early enough to try to make it a part of my life. It was a very moving time for me, and they may be some shareable writing coming out of that - so keep your eyes peeled!

I have also started to read the Dalai Lama's The Art of Happiness again. Each time I read this wonderful book, I take something new away from it. Most recently I was noticing how Howard C Cutler describes the presence and actions of His Holiness, the Dalai Lama. I have read the text enough to have an idea of what will be said and the topics within so because of that I am noticing the comments on how His Holiness conducts himself, smiles or even seems uneasy or confused by the questions and discussion topics presented.

While His Holiness is a "simple monk", I am taken aback at how inquisitive, yet calming and casual he seems to be - also his patience while being a busy person and dealing with a western and (at least) cultural Christian's perspective on Tibetan Buddhism and monastic vocations in general, is a patience I would like to have one day.

His Holiness, the Dalai Lama's respect, generosity, equanimity and calm has even been remarked upon by those who tested it - it is claimed that Chairman Mao was unnerved at the His Holiness seemingly good nature after he told His Holiness, to his face that "religion is a poison".

Here, in a feature I hope to help me share more of the things I have found useful from the internet (as well as entertain): a playlist of 5 tracks I have found, think are fun and share a vague (sometimes very vague) Buddhist theme.

So until next week(?):

Same lazy time!

Same Buddhist channel!

Quick Links - Week ending 4/12/2015

Welcome in what I hope to do more regularly - a list of quick links and interesting things to share.

This time there is:

Listen to the Soil: A meditator's experiences at Auschwitz

Sinfest - a religious webcomic (with the Buddha as a character)

the Lotus Sutra Song

And now (more) Jeff Bridges:
"Everyone I meet is in my sangha. I don't know if that's the proper definition, but that's the way I'm going to hold it in my mind."

Listen to the Soil: A meditator's experiences at Auschwitz

"Listen to the soil. Let Auschwitz be your teacher." - these words greeted a meditator, raised in an Orthodox Jewish tradition, at the place where the carriers of her culture and cultural identity wept and gnashed their teeth at the hands of those who sought to make all that she was less than a memory.

"For my grandparents, Auschwitz represented more than the place; it was the symbol of the Nazi annihilation of nearly half of Europe's Jews - from six to eleven million - inconceivable numbers of mothers and fathers, daughters and sons gone. Auschwitz also seeded in my grandparents a fear and hate so visceral and terrifying that it seemed to shape every encounter of their lives, including their relationship with me. I saw how my parents carried that inherited fear and hate like an heirloom, and how they lived with it and defined themselves by it and painfully struggled against my anxious longing to unshackle from it.

And I saw in myself how, even though I didn't want it - how desperately I didn't want it - I claimed that same fear and hate I saw in my grandparents and parents and brought it into me. It didn't matter that I wanted so much to reject those stories and seeds, and that I ran away in the thousand ways I could find to run away-still, I became their carrier."

Sounds like an interesting series of posts to keep a watch out for.
[Retrieved from: https://www.upaya.org/2015/11/listening-to-the-soil-reflections-on-bearing-witness-at-auschwitz-berkenau-part-one]

Sinfest - a religious webcomic

Sinfest is an interesting web comic that is based around questions of religious ethics and how they interact with everyday life, the Buddha is an occasional character (an incomplete list of his appearances can be found here.

the Lotus Sutra Song

A sparkling version of "Our Hero"/the Lotus Sutra Song. The creators have more information about it at their website dharmacowboys.com. You have to respect anyone who can slip the word "hegemony" into such an upbeat song.
Also, the chorus has some pleasant words to recall:

"I would never disparage you or keep you at arm's length
Where you only see your weaknesses, I only see your strength
I would never despise you or put you down in any way
Because it's clear to me
I can plainly see
You'll be a buddha someday
I love you."

For more about Bodhisattva Never Disparaging and how to use his example from verse 20 of the Lotus Sutra to enrich your everyday life, I find Open Gate Zen's page to be a good resource.

And finally a word from Master Dogen:

Weird Advice for a Broken Hearted Person

[this was written a while ago after waking up feeling inspired by someone else's heartbreak]

A quiet intensity hides behind fiery eyes.

Eyes that shock in their open stillness.

Sight that lights up spaces when laughing.

Reserved sorrow courses deep within.

Princes are rebuffed when trying to move you.

You decide on how you are moved.

Past unpleasantness poisons your freedom.

The dirt from before should be used as a foundation for growth.

Manure helps the flower grow.

The lotus is untouched by the dirt of it's surrounds.

Space and time can heal much harm.

Beyond these things is beyond harm.

Slight smiles of bent lips when you can walk to the harmer of you and admit:

They are not a person.

They are not a memory.

They are a delusion.

You can no longer see them.

You see straight through them.

You see their pain, sorrow, anger and arrogance.

And you feel sorry for them.

Swimming in an ocean of confusion and delusion.

You see them for what they are and you say:

You are not useful.

Not here.

Not now.

Go bother another.

Leave my sight lest I end up destroying you wherever you stand.

Wherever you run.

Wherever you hide.

You can run.

You can hide.

Unless you change you will be confusion and delusion.

Leopards cannot change it's spots.

You can't polish a turd.

You will never change without opportunity.

I can change as I wish, when I wish.

Nothing as tiny as you can stop me.

I can go further without you.

Without carrying your ideas of  good or ill.

The tempter ends up poisoning all.

In seeing this refuse to take poison.

Go forward until you learn to grow from the sullen sod of your past.

Grow.

Don't let the insects that walk over you change that.

See them for what they are:

Insects.

In the Heart of the Lotus

Learn to open yourself up in the right way.
Like a flower - blossoming.
Hold your pain, your suffering, your trauma like a precious jewel in an outstretched hand.
Watch it blow away like a dandelion
In a warm summer breeze.
The hand is empty
Yet you remain.
Life is a flower garden
And you are there to enjoy it.

Putting the Five Precepts into Practice

The Five Precepts are the basic guide to Buddhist ethics. Unlike comparable lists, like the Ten Commandments, the Five Precepts aren’t a list that once broken may never be repaired. Buddhist thought on these issues are along the lines that these ideas are generally good, but empathetic compassion is at the core of these ideas - if following one of the Five Precepts would break that, then compassion in the face of minimising or eliminating suffering comes first. That being said, there are very few examples of where this list will steer your wrong - not bad for a 2500-year-old teaching from someone who thought to articulate them while sitting under a fig tree!

The Five Precepts (via Master Yin-Shun) are:

1. "Do not kill." (Unintentional killing is considered less offensive)
2. "Do not steal." (Including misappropriating someone's property)
3. "Do not engage in improper sexual conduct." (such as sexual contact not sanctioned by secular laws as well as gaining the enthusiastic consent of participants)
4. "Do not make false statements." (Also includes pretending to know something one doesn't)
5. "Do not drink alcohol." (In my view this also extends to all forms of mental intoxicants, or from the pali: things “that causes heedlessness”)

[NB. Sections of the above list are based on the variable sources from wikipedia]

To train yourself to follow the precepts there are some standard methods.

Such as:

• Follow the precepts
• Don’t encourage others to break the precepts
• Encourage others to uphold the precepts
• Share the fruits of your life from upholding the precepts and you may encourage more to uphold the precepts.

Or in a slightly different form:

• Do it!
• Don’t encourage others not to do it.
• Encourage others to do it.
• Display how awesome one can be while doing it, they may do it too.

[The above was was aided by thoughts shaped by Shia Labeouf]

There are probably more, but that is a fairly solid list to work from for the moment

So…

To follow the first precept don’t kill.

Don’t encourage others to kill on your behalf. (There is usually a discussion about pescatarian, vegetarian and vegan lifestyles at this point - but I will save that for another time.)

Encourage others to not kill.

Another version is to encourage others to live a full life, to enjoy it and to display that enjoyment around others so they are more aware of the joys of life and become grateful for them.

To follow the second precept don’t steal.

Don’t encourage others to steal on your behalf.

Encourage others to not steal.

Another idea is to encourage others to give themselves, their time and their resources generously.

(Some versions of this precept are translated as: don’t “take what is not given” and that can lead to a discussion about taking offence where there is none intended, or weird places when you think of picking up litter that left by others.)

To follow the third precept don’t engage in sexual misconduct or sexual harassment.

(This also raises questions about what is “sexual misconduct” - for example, for a monastic it is usually any sexual activity, however for a lay person what does it mean? I think a safe way of navigating through these emotionally charged issues that many are not comfortable discussing at length would be: play it safe with the ideas of thoughtful, ethical informed consent of all people present and possible people it could affect. In issues as complicated as this, I can almost appreciate the celibate path the Buddha himself walked!)

Don’t encourage others to partake in sexual misconduct or sexual harassment for your benefit.

Encourage others to not increase another’s overall suffering (Warning! It can get complex here as some physical things may encourage a pleasant mental state or vice versa.)

Encourage others to interact in a conscious, respectful and informed manner at all times.

To follow the fourth precept don’t lie.

Don’t encourage others to lie on your behalf.

Encourage others to not lie.

Again, another idea is to encourage others to speak the empowering and helpful truth. Display how the truth can be a powerful force in one’s life and can be used to quickly remove the shadows of doubt and confusion.

(Some versions of this precept involve terms like “unskillful”, ”unuseful” or “unnecessary” speech to include things such as angered speech, slander, gossip and idle chit-chat depending on the personal, retreatant or monastic context.)

To follow the fifth precept don’t partake in things that cause heedlessness.

Don’t encourage others to interact with foods, drinks, drugs, people, actions, situations or even emotional or mental states that cloud the mind.

Encourage others to cast aside these things.

Another form is to encourage display to others how mental intoxicants don’t need to be present in life to enjoy it. That thoughtfulness instead of mindlessness can gulf any gap that is percieved due to a lack of drugs, alcohol, ideas or people that cloud the mind - even strong emotions that make you react in the moment and ignore what it really happening.

Writing this helped me understand how to take something like the Five Precepts and turn them into things I can do in my everyday life - I hope it helps you too.

Only

Yesterday I attended an anti-Reclaim Australia rally. Reclaim Australia are the local group of xenophobes that are currently attacking refugees and the religion of Islam. Reclaim Australia are (generally) a bunch of hateful people that will attach themselves to the most recent ideas in the news to spread their philosophy of hate, mistrust and “othering” all who are not like them. Little Daleks in human bodies … I think you get the picture.

These people need to be shown that they are wrong and that spreading hate is a nasty and venomous thing to do.

I stood with the people opposing them - I still do from a philosophical standpoint.

We stood and chanted. Firstly words we all agreed with. Then words I agreed with less and less. I just skipped the chanting of the sections I did not agree with and found myself soon silent, not to mention the idea of my usual spiritual practice involving chanting - and watched as it was morphed into something nastier.

The opposition moved to where the Daleks stood. There were many police standing between and on horses, separating the two groups. I could not see anyone to oppose. But just angry people shouting at the unseen threat and calm police.

The police cordon was tight - I asked some officers at the fringes if they knew any details of what was going on, the numbers on both sides, the mood, the intention - the admitted that they didn’t know. If I wanted to know what I was doing that morning, they advised that I watch that evening's news.

If I was there to make a difference, to effect change, to educate or even show a solid resistance - then I couldn’t. There was no place there for that.

I also found it fascinating that both sides had placards with swastikas, bombs and (occasionally) barbed fences on them - to help them express the unreasonableness of the other side.

I consider myself Buddhist and flirt with the ideas of Amitabha Buddha - who is often represented by a swastika. Both sides of this argument were using a symbol I cannot associate with without at least having to explain myself to represent their oppression. One side was openly fighting for a stop to Islamophobia and the other were fighting for “good Christian values”. They were using a symbol that I cannot use in my religious devotion, even though it came from there, as a slight between sides fighting over religious freedom.

The nearest temple for my version of Zen (Soto) - is not that widely known about and has a very small online presence - it is also a mere 700+ km away. If I went to Soto’s place of founding and head temple, I would be quite disadvantaged by not being able to speak fluent Japanese, and knowing some ancient Chinese would be valuable too. This is why it seems a bit rich for me to hear about religious intolerance from both the Pro and Anti Reclaim Australia people.

I felt disenchanted by this - and left.

In the heat of that moment, where emotions were running high and where in the past occasionally physical violence occurs I took a photograph and wrote something on my personal facebook page.

I didn’t share it with the organisers on either side intentionally - as it was me, personally, blowing off a little steam and questioning why it has to be like this.

Big mistake.

While no direct, actionable threats were made either publicly or privately, the air of animosity was great - but I refuse to be drawn into personal attacks in retaliation or attacks of myself and my character. That being said, at the time of this writing, the public ones are still public - I don’t want to delude myself about my actions or my past.

But I am not proud of all the defences I made - and I am sorry if I harmed anyone during this.

What I learnt was:

• Non-violence and non-engagement are some very powerful tools but are very difficult to wield effectively.
• Non-violence and non-engagement may often be mistaken for apathy or ignorance.
• Engaging with those that could learn to use non-violence and non-engagement - defeats the purpose.
• I should think more before I speak or type.
• The questioning of certain views, such as what your are doing and why, is not welcome everywhere.

I have dealt with bigger fires in my life, that have burnt and harmed me more than this did - I am glad I received some of this undercurrent of vitriol, as I could take it, but I now know some of what those that question the ideas of those around them can receive. I have seen what turns them into angry violent people while I was able to withstand it. I can start to understand how their frustrations can build and finally explode in acts that end up shocking entire nations and I personally choose against following those dark paths.

I also believe much more firmly that if I see someone who needs help, that I will try to help them - regardless of political belief, religion, class, caste, sex, gender, sexuality and whatever else I may have missed out in this short list.

When people share things they cannot choose how others react to it - by the same token, those that receive cannot question what is displayed.

In the well

People sit in the darkness of their own well.
The sun that moves overhead brings light and shadow,
Ever changing.

People see reflections of themselves in the wells waters.
As they notice there is more darkness - there is depression.
As they notice they are not in the light - there is anxiety.
As they notice the surface of the water moving as they try to escape - there is chaos and mutability - there is anguish and madness.

Stay still and the water stills.
Stay still and the reflections steady.
Stay still and see what is already in front of you.

Through this stillness and emptiness of ideas of escape is the way out, is found.
First a foothold, then another.

Climbing.
Falling.
Climbing again.

Then there is freedom incomparable in the light of the sun proper.
Clarity of sight is hard after a life of darkness.
Dark things fear the light.

From the surface, it is easier to see how you can help others.
From a place of true freedom, you can focus on helping others and not going back.

Grasp with both hands and free all you can.
Hold nothing back.
Hopefully, the people you help will try to propel you onwards to help more.

Either way you do it as it’s all you have ever known.

All is well.